


Bridge Our Hearts

by notebookthief



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-18 14:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 12,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3573362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notebookthief/pseuds/notebookthief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Oikawa and Iwaizumi's relationship starts to crumble, Suga is there to make things new again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Соединяя наши сердца](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6048714) by [AriansKaleyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AriansKaleyn/pseuds/AriansKaleyn)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy heck! i really didn't expect this fic to get as much attention as it has, and i'm so grateful. it's one of my favourites, and i'm so excited to be editing it - chapter 1 seemed the best place to start.   
> i really grew a lot as a writer over the course of this fic, and im really glad i can edit it and bring it up closer to its full potential. i hope those who are new to the fic, or reread it, enjoy it too!

“Are you coming to bed?”

Oikawa doesn’t bother to look at Iwaizumi from where he’s perched on his desk chair, hands stilling over the keyboard of his laptop for a moment. He goes back to typing after a brief pause. “No.”

Iwaizumi lets out a deep sigh and Oikawa knows that a frown is settling on his face. “You know this isn’t healthy.”

“I don’t care,” Oikawa says, too harshly, and he means it.

Iwaizumi disappears into their bedroom without another word. He rubs his eyes to clear the burning there, half from the brightness of the screen and half from the tension in the room.

It’s been two months since Oikawa and Iwaizumi started dating. Two months since they moved into their shared apartment for college together. Yet despite their close living quarters, Oikawa has never felt so alone.

He’d expected dating Iwaizumi was going to be easy - the team had teased them enough about being a married couple. He’d thought all that would really change would be that he could finally kiss Iwaizumi instead of fantasizing about it incessantly. The natural next step, he found himself describing it. Something that was supposed to happen.

The result was ending in fights, incessant avoidance of each other, and ruined chemistry. Oikawa doesn’t know how far he can tease Iwaizumi before he gets really angry, doesn’t know when he can be sappy or when he can demand his time alone - they’re standing on uneven ground and it terrifies him.

Oikawa rests his head on the desk and takes a few deep breaths. For now, he doesn’t want to think about Iwaizumi, or their crumbling relationship. He starts on his paper again, the best avoidance tactic he has at his disposal, even if it isn’t due for another two weeks. He focuses hard until it’s three am and he starts nodding, goes on for another half hour, then decides to call it quits.

He’s careful not to wake Iwaizumi when he climbs into bed - he doesn’t want a lecture or a disapproving look or _anything_ from him. He sleeps with his back turned to his boyfriend, curled in a ball of stress.

He wakes up late for class - not entirely new, but it irritates him that Iwaizumi didn’t think the wake him up and let him know, however grouchily. He rolls out of bed, the other half long empty, and stalks into the main room.

Iwaizumi is already getting ready to leave; Oikawa glares him down, despite his bedhead and groggy appearance.

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

Iwaizumi half-sighs half-huffs, looking exasperated. “It’s not my job to mother you. You can get up on your own.”

Oikawa’s eyes narrow. “It would have been the decent thing to do.”

“You never listen to anything I say anyway,” Iwaizumi retorts, pulling on his jacket, “why would this be any different? If you’d actually gone to bed-”

“I was working on a paper,” Oikawa growls, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You have plenty of time before it’s due.”

Oikawa isn’t quite sure whether he wants to fight this out and make them both late or shove it in a box in his mind and stop dealing with it. He opens his mouth, not sure what he’s going to say, but Iwaizumi beats him to it.

“I need to leave,” he says, checking his watch. “We can talk later.”

Oikawa knows there is no later when he slams the door behind him.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Sugawara Koushi is a breath of fresh air that Oikawa didn’t know he needed until he had it.

Meeting for coffee every Monday and Thursday has become routine for them ever since they teamed up for a Japanese Lit project a few months prior. Suga is an interesting conversation partner - he can talk about nearly everything with ease as an attentive listener and a thoughtful speaker. He keeps any debates light and informative, and he’s the absolute _best_ to gossip to (something Oikawa is shocked by, but takes full advantage of). Despite his over-spiced drink choices that he has learned to not touch, not matter what, Oikawa loves being around Suga.

“So, how are things with you and Iwaizumi-san?” he asks as Oikawa settles with his drink, a perfect combination of sweet and bitter. When Oikawa heaves a huge, dramatic sigh, Suga offers a sympathetic smile. “Bad?”

“Terrible. Everything’s been going downhill since we started dating. We live together and never see each other, and we’re constantly arguing, and Iwa-chan has gotten really distant. You don’t think he’s sick of me, do you?”

Suga shakes his head. “No, I doubt that. If he’s put up with you for this long, that would be really shocking,” he says teasingly. When Oikawa doesn’t crack a smile, his expression softens again.

Oikawa sighs once more and takes a sip of his drink. “Well, what about you and Sawa-chan? You two definitely had a thing for each other in high school - if you weren’t dating then you have to be dating now.”

Suga face falls into a similar expression, and he winces. “Bad too?”

He shrugs. “I guess. Not as bad as you and Iwaizumi-san. We’re just not very… lover-y.”

“Oh?” Oikawa quirks an eyebrow. “Do tell, Suga-chan.”

Suga laughs quietly. “We just act more like friends, you know? There’s not a lot of kissing or romantic gestures, and god forbid we do anything sexual.”

Oikawa makes a humming noise. “So it feels like he doesn’t really want you.”

“I suppose.” He looks into his drink and swirls it a bit. “We just went on a break, actually. Back to being friends.”

“Suga-chan…”

“It’s fine! I suggested it.” He waves his hands, shooing away Oikawa’s concern. “It’s surprisingly freeing, actually. Daichi doesn’t get on my back for flirting with others anymore, and it feels more natural, I suppose. It’s reminding me of what I could have and don’t. Now all that’s left is to choose which one I want more.”

Suga stares into the distance for a moment as Oikawa rolls his thoughts around in his head.

“A break sounds nice,” he says after a minute, stirring Suga. “I might ask Iwa-chan if he wants to do that.”

Suga looks at him fondly. “I think you should have a real talk with him first, Oikawa-kun. Avoiding the problem isn’t going to help you.”

Oikawa pouts. “You’re no fun, Suga-chan.”

“Really? Is that why you see me twice a week?”

Oikawa sticks his tongue out at his teasing, and Suga’s laughter sounds like chimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was a lot of fun to write, and woah!! i actually had a beta for this chapter!! incredible!! so there shouldn't be any mistakes :B hope you all enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3

Oikawa does not talk to Iwaizumi.

In his defense, Iwaizumi is very busy with school (majoring in medicine is not easy), and there hasn’t been an opportune time to approach him - or really any time. They hardly sleep at the same time, one or the other staying up late with homework. Neither have any time for anything, and Oikawa is even forced to cancel on Suga one day, promising dinner for a different occasion - one that appears fairly quickly Saturday the week after for hotpot.

“Suga-chan! Come inside, supper’s almost ready.” Oikawa says when he opens to door, greeting him with a bright, welcoming smile.

Suga steps into the apartment cheerfully, shucking off his coat and shoes. “It’s smells lovely in here, Oikawa! I didn’t know you could cook.”

“He can’t. I did most of it.”

Oikawa glances over at Iwaizumi who has re-taken his place at the stove. Suga just continues to smile, unfazed.

“I didn’t know you’d be home, Iwaizumi-san! It’s nice to finally meet you in a non-competition setting.”

Iwaizumi smiles at him, but it looks forced. “Me too.”

Suga doesn’t seem to mind, and slips into the tiny kitchen, coming up behind Iwaizumi. He peers past him and into the pot, then shifts his eyes up to the taller man’s. “Anything I can help with? I’m fairly adept at cooking myself.”

Iwaizumi blinks at him a bit, surprise in his eyes - Oikawa figures it’s because he never offers to help (he can’t do anything in the kitchen without royally screwing up). “That’s fine. It just needs to simmer for a couple more minutes.”

Suga nods. “Can I at least help set the table then?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

Oikawa takes that as his cue to start helping, showing Suga where different dishes are. He sets them up quickly and precisely.

Oikawa notices three place settings. “Ah, I think we only need two Suga-chan,” he says quietly, so as not to have his partner hear. Iwaizumi had given the impression of not wanting to spend the evening with him, and Oikawa doesn’t want to make Suga uncomfortable.

He frowns. “Nonsense. Iwaizumi-san is eating with us, of course. He went to all the trouble of cooking for us. Iwaizumi-san, you’re joining us, right?”

He glances over his shoulder. “I hadn’t planned to.”

“Really? I’d love to get to know you more. What better way than through food?”

Iwaizumi’s cheeks tint red a little, and he nods jerkily, hands stuttering in their motions. “Well, if you think I won’t be invading…”

Suga’s smile is blinding. “Of course not!”

Oikawa and Suga continue to chat while Iwaizumi stands over the stove. After a few minutes, he brings over the the food, Suga jumping up to help, and they all sit down, Oikawa and Iwaizumi across from each other and Suga in the middle.

“Iwaizumi-san, this is so good! Where did you learn to cook?” Suga exclaims after his first bite, immediately reaching for more.

“I just picked it up from my parents. Cooking is pretty shared in my house.” He replies sheepishly, stuffing mushrooms into his mouth.

“Really? Impressive. I wouldn’t mind coming here more often if I get to eat food like this!”

Oikawa doesn’t mention that Iwaizumi hasn’t made a proper meal in weeks, and his boyfriend doesn’t seem keen on bringing it up either.

“Suga-chan bakes really well,” he says offhandedly. Suga laughs lightly and waves him off.

“I’m just okay. My grandmother was way better.”

“That’s not what those sugar cookies last week tasted like. They were incredible,” Oikawa teases, humming when he reminisces.

Suga blushes lightly. “If I had known you liked them so much, I would have brought some.”

The evening passes in similar fashion, compliments being thrown around and skills being exposed. Iwaizumi talks about his schooling, and Oikawa discovers that he and Suga share majors - something that shocks him, given that he shares a course with Suga (“You’re giving yourself too much of a workload, Suga-chan!” is what he says when Suga reveals that he just likes literature). They talk about hobbies, various interests, life after high school. Suga proves himself once again to be an excellent conversationalist, and the three stay up talking until late at night and Suga needs to get back to his dorm.

Oikawa heaves a contented sigh when he’s gone, a small, unconscious smile settling on his face. Iwaizumi glances at him curiously.

“I haven’t seen you look like that in months,” he remarks, voice easy and soft. Oikawa hums.

“I had a good time tonight.”

“He’s certainly something.”

Oikawa chuckles. “You weren’t too bad yourself.”

Iwaizumi smiles lazily, closing the distance and kissing him. It is soft and affectionate, and Oikawa doesn’t realize how much he’s missed it until it’s happening, letting his arms loosely wrap around the other’s neck. Iwaizumi’s rough hands settle on his hips, rubbing them soothingly.

After a minute of affectionate kissing, Oikawa pulls back. “Not as good as Suga-chan though!” he teases. For the first time in a long time, Iwaizumi’s annoyance is affection, not frustrated.

“Come on, Assikawa, we’re going to bed.”

Oikawa trails after him with a jubilant smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really like this chapter tbh. hope you enjoyed as well!!


	4. Chapter 4

Iwaizumi yanks open the door expecting Oikawa, ready to yell at him for not telling him where he’s been, and is met with Suga instead.

His kind smile doesn't waver when he is met with Iwaizumi’s anger, nor when it switches instantly to confusion. “Sugawara-san?”

“Hi, Iwaizumi-san. Did Oikawa not tell you I was coming over to help study?” He peers past him a little to check if the pretty boy is around.

“No, he conveniently forgot to mention it,” Iwaizumi says grumpily, his mouth setting in a hard, thin line. Suga’s smile turns sympathetic as Iwaizumi heaves an exasperated sigh, moving out of the doorway. “Well, come in and make yourself comfortable. He should be here soon, but he hasn’t been answering his texts.”

Suga slips off his shoes and coat, revealing a large, stylish sweater and funky looking socks. Iwaizumi can’t help his quick once-over, his eyes catching on his graceful hands and elegant collarbone; his tongue feels a little dry, but he shakes it off. He shuffles to the kitchen, feeling a little self-conscious about his tattered sweats and ratty tank top, and hopes to avoid his gaze. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“If you have any spiced tea, that would be great.”

“Is chai all right?”

“That’s good, thank you.”

Iwaizumi busies himself with the tea as Suga settles himself into leaning against the back of the couch. “How have you been finding the most recent assignment?” he asks conversationally, referring to their shared course - they don’t have it at the same time, but they have the same professor.

“Stressful. I’ve barely made a dent in it. You?”

“I’ve finished planning it out, i just have to write the essay,” he says, a hint of pride in his voice. Iwaizumi whistles, turning away from the kettle to look at him.

“Impressive.”

“I like to get things done quickly so I have more time to myself - or for things like this.” Suga says, shrugging slightly.

Iwaizumi’s smile is small and a little awkward, unused to not being annoyed out of his mind - Suga is more pleasant than he’d like to admit. “This doesn’t seem like the best use of your time,” he points out as the water just starts to boil.

Suga’s laughter is small and gentle. “Oikawa is a handful, for sure, but he certainly keeps things exciting. I enjoy his company a lot. He’s… fun.”

Iwaizumi snorts. “Fun is not the word I’d use.”

Suga continues to giggle. “Unexpected words from his boyfriend,” he teases. The kettle starts to whistle, and Iwaizumi turns off the stove to pour the water into to mugs, already readied with tea bags.

“He may be a pain, but he’s my pain, I guess. And sometimes he’ll do something that makes it worth it. Any milk or sugar with this?” He glances over his shoulder, already grabbing milk for himself.

“A teaspoon of sugar and a dash of milk, if you would.” Iwaizumi nods and fixes their drinks as Suga keeps talking. “That’s sweet though. I’m sure Oikawa would like to hear that, too.”

Iwaizumi walks over and hands him his tea, which he accepts gratefully. “The idiot would tease me about it for days. No amount of volleyballs to the head would shut him up,” he scoffs.

“So violent. I can hardly believe you major in medicine.” Suga glances at him with mischievous eyes, light and dry, and Iwaizumi stares right back. It takes him almost too long to answer, lost in that gaze, but he collects himself when he glances back down at his cup.

“It’s for sports. I want to help people with sports injuries - people like Oikawa who are too stupid to take care of themselves. I sort of respect it and sort of hate it, that attitude.” He takes a sip of his drink, a small, barely noticeable blush creeping across his face.

Suga hums. “That’s really admirable of you, Iwaizumi-san. It’ll be nice to stay in the sports world, too.” He smiles sweetly, too sweetly at him. “I think it’s really cute that Oikawa inspired you so much.”

Iwaizumi makes mumbling sounds in his throat, not even sure himself what he’s trying to say, and takes a large gulp of his tea. “What about you, then?” he says after he’s swallowed down his tea and his embarrassment. “Why are you majoring in medicine? You seem more like the teacher type to me.”

“Daichi says that all the time, too,” he says, chuckling a little to himself. Iwaizumi briefly wonders how he can be so cheerful and, frankly, downright lovely.

“Karasuno’s captain?”

“Former captain,” he corrects. “He always said I should teach kindergarten because I’m so motherly.”

“That seems pretty accurate.”

“You think so?” Suga glances up at the ceiling. “But then I wouldn’t really get to help people like I want. I’ve never really been able to protect the people I care about, so I think this is the best path for me to do that.”

Iwaizumi’s gaze flicks to him in shock, his mouth running a little dry. Suga’s words echo in his ears as he stares, memories of his parents patching him up as a child, memories of him treating Oikawa from childhood bullies or his own stupidity rising up in his mind. He can feel his heartbeat steady and quick in his chest and the air caught in his throat.

Suga stands still for a moment, before shivering and coming back to himself. “Ah, sorry!” he exclaims, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t mean to get all deep there.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. That was… pretty cool of you, actually.” Iwaizumi can’t meet his eyes, focusing on the mole under one of them - it makes him remarkably more beautiful, he thinks briefly.

Suga’s surprise is interrupted by the front door bursting open. “I’m ho~ome!” Oikawa calls airily. “Oh, Suga-chan, you’re already here! Sorry to keep you waiting, practice ran suuuper late. I hope Mr. Grumpy didn’t bore you to tears,” he says, too positively, kicking the door shut behind him.

“Not at all. Iwaizumi-san is nice to talk to, actually. A nice break from you.” His teasing tone is back, even more so than earlier.

“Suga-chan, you wound me. Come on, I’m drowning in homework and you’re the only one that can save me.” He throws off his coat and shoes and grabs Suga’s wrist quickly. “Call us if you need anything, Iwa-chan!”

Suga lets himself be dragged, smiling back at Iwaizumi. “It was a pleasure to talk to you! Sorry to leave so abruptly.”

Iwaizumi waves them off and takes a deep breath after the bedroom door slams closed. He can barely hear their banter through the walls, the light hearted lilt of Suga’s voice and the annoying airiness of Oikawa’s complimenting each other. He takes note of his elevated heart rate and groans.

“I’m so fucked,” he mumbles to himself, rubbing his face with one hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s/o to tumblr user king-tooru for beta-ing this and letting me ramble about it. you're an angel.  
> hope you guys enjoyed!! iwa is super gay for suga and oikawa he's so gay it's ridiculous


	5. Chapter 5

Oikawa and Iwaizumi finally have time for a real, proper date, and Oikawa is excited.

Ever since the two of them started regularly hanging out with Suga everything has been going uphill. He brings out the best of both of them, and even when he’s not around the mood that settles over them keeps them content. Oikawa finds himself inviting Suga along for nearly everything now, with no protests from Iwaizumi. 

Oikawa knows he can’t rely on his friend forever though, and with Iwaizumi avoiding spending time with Suga alone, he figures it’s time for them to do something - just the two of them. So he drags Iwaizumi out of the apartment and to the local art museum and makes a point of not calling Suga to see if he wants to tag along. 

His plan completely fails when they run into him on the front steps looking like a work of art himself. 

He’s not planning on calling out to him until Iwaizumi takes notice of him, too. 

“Suga-san is here. Did you make arrangements?” 

Oikawa shakes his head. “No, I actually meant for -” 

He doesn’t finish his sentence, cut off by Iwaizumi calling Suga’s name. He turns around and graces them with a surprised smile, hopping down the steps. 

“Oikawa, Iwaizumi, I didn’t know you’d be here! What a lovely surprise! I hope I’m not interrupting.” He grins at them, all teeth, and Oikawa can feel himself wanting to smile back. He does, but not sincerely - he slips on one that’s candy sweet. Iwaizumi’s is more gentle. 

Before Oikawa can say that he is (kindly, of course, because he likes Suga and he doesn’t want to hurt him), Iwaizumi is already speaking. 

“No, that’s all right, we were just about to head inside.” Iwaizumi’s grip on his hand becomes looser as he looks at Suga, and Oikawa clasps it firmly. 

“Me too!” Suga says excitedly. “Though I’m actually only here to see one exhibit, I have to go after that. I wish I had more time to see the whole museum.” 

“Do you want to join us? For that part, I mean.” Oikawa can tell Iwaizumi is embarrassed asking that, and he sticks out his bottom lip in a pout. 

“That’d be great! Is that all right with you, Oikawa?” 

Oikawa turns his gaze back on Suga. “I suppose so,” he says huffily. Suga looks a little downtrodden by his statement. 

“If it’s too much trouble -” 

“Oi, what’s with you, Assikawa?” 

Oikawa’s pout grows, turning dramatic as he avoids his real answer. “Suga-chan didn’t greet me properly,” he says childishly instead. Iwaizumi looks ready to punch him, and he expects it, but Suga lightly grabs his bicep and holds him back. 

“I’m sorry Oikawa, I didn’t know it was so important to you! I’ll be sure to be extra excited the next time. Shall we go in and not make a scene, then?” 

Suga’s smile is a little chilling now, so the two comply. Oikawa catches Iwaizumi rubbing his arm afterwards and glares at the spot. 

The Van Gogh exhibit is a sight to behold, and for a while it makes Oikawa forget his troubles. He notices Suga particularly enjoying himself, reading up on every painting and pointing out where he thought the artist did a particularly good job. He talks to the two of them about Van Gogh’s life, too, and Oikawa finds himself fascinated. 

Eventually that fascination wears off, however, and he starts to notice everything he had before. Iwaizumi’s embarrassment and nervousness around Suga, his easy smiles and laughs. He fights off his jealousy - Suga isn’t trying to do anything, he reasons. He’s not acting any different from usual. He’s too pure to do anything mean. It’s not his fault. He reminds himself repeatedly that Suga is his friend, a trusted friend, and that he will not take advantage of him. It gives him some peace of mind. 

They’ve only spent about an hour in the museum when Suga has to leave, and when he does Iwaizumi almost feels like he’s come back to him. Not that he was completely gone before - more like he was spread out, and now he’s condensed. 

They move on to other exhibits, and Oikawa is quiet. He knows Iwaizumi knows something is wrong, but he doesn’t mind. It takes him about a half hour to say, “Let’s sit down.” 

Iwaizumi is confused, he knows, but they sit side by side on a bench and stare at the paintings on the wall. After a minute, when Iwaizumi is starting to get antsy, he says what’s been bothering him. 

“I know that you like him.” 

Iwaizumi jerks. “I-” 

“Please don’t lie.” He falls silent. Oikawa doesn’t look at him - instead, he stares at the wall space between paintings. 

“I don’t blame you. He’s nice, and sweet, and cute. He’s really great.” He can hear his own bitterness, but he can’t help it - Iwaizumi deserves to hear it. 

He’s about to continue on when he’s interrupted by Iwaizumi’s hand laying on top of his. 

“What are you, an idiot? I’m not gonna up and leave you just like that. How stupid are you?” His voice is filled with annoyance and affection, his emotion almost overpowering his words. 

Oikawa finally turns his head and looks at Iwaizumi’s eyes boring into him. “So you… don’t like him?” 

He swallows hard. “I didn’t say that.” 

Oikawa frowns. “Iwa-” 

“Look it’s… hard to explain. I love you, and I love Sugawara. But I’ve been with you longer and there’s - there’s more to it. With us. History or whatever. I’m not going to let go of that.” 

Iwaizumi sounds hoarse, but not like he’s trying not to cry - Oikawa knows him well enough that he can tell Iwaizumi is exasperated. 

“Do you think you can stop loving him?” he asks delicately, tentatively, staring at him head-on. 

Iwaizumi’s eyes waver, and Oikawa knows before he says it. “I don’t know.” 

And Oikawa understands that. Iwaizumi is a sentimental man who knows his wants and values, and he does not give up on things easily. And he knows Suga, and he knows how hard it would be to give up someone like that. 

“Is that enough?” 

Oikawa nods and laces their fingers together. “For now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr user king-tooru is an angel for betaing for me and you need to give her some love okay she's incredible love u bab <3 <3
> 
> there is angst!! oh man. next chapter is angsty too. im sorry. more fluff to come? maybe. hope youre enjoying this!


	6. Chapter 6

“Hello?”

“Is this Suga-san?” The voice voice over the phone is stressed and quiet, making Suga pause in concern. 

“Yes. Iwaizumi?” 

“Yes, it’s me.” 

Suga cradles his phone between his neck and his ear as he goes back to doing his laundry. “What’s up?” 

“I was wondering if you would come over today for a chat.” He sounds more apprehensive now rather than stressed. 

Suga halts his sorting of lights and darks. “Is something wrong?” he asks with concern. 

“No, not wrong, I just wanted to talk. It is a little serious, but nothing bad, I promise.” 

Suga is skeptical as he slowly goes back to sorting. “Sure. What time do you want me there?” 

“Just drop by whenever it’s convenient for you.” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Suga knocks on the door of the small apartment, feeling a little anxious, but Iwaizumi opens it casually. “Come on in,” he says, voice level, but Suga can’t stop feeling nervous. 

He hovers awkwardly around the door after taking off his jacket and shoes. Iwaizumi looks like he’s working himself up to speaking, breathing slowly and deeply and thumbing over his wrist. 

After a few seconds his anxiety overtakes him and he can’t help but ask, “So what did you want to talk about?” 

Iwaizumi doesn’t look him in the eye, and suddenly he looks very awkward himself. 

“I want to be honest with you,” he says after a particularly deep breath, “so you don’t the wrong idea.” 

He pauses again, and after a second Suga thinks he might be waiting for the okay to speak. “All right,” he says quickly, wanting to get this over with. 

A blush spreads across Iwaizumi’s face. “I really like you, Suga-san. Romantically. I have for a while now.” 

Suga jerks a little, eyes widening and mouth opening the slightest bit. He had suspected Iwaizumi might have feelings for him, but only as a mild crush - maybe even more of a friend thing, not a romantic one. It had only been a mild suspicion that he had waved off as impossible, and his heart thumps faster at the confirmation. 

“I don’t want to act on those feelings, because I’m with Oikawa, and I won’t leave him unless it’s absolutely necessary, if I would at all. I just thought it was fair that you know. I didn’t want you to feel tricked or taken advantage of if you ever found out later on.” Iwaizumi seems less awkward now that he’s on his tangent, more firm. Suga’s anxiety has rippled out as well, but he’s not sure what to do next. 

He doesn’t talk about his own growing feelings for Iwaizumi, or the ones for Oikawa. He doesn’t talk about how he and Daichi just officially broke up, or the emotions churning inside him from this confession. Instead, he swallows hard, puts up a smile, and says, “Thanks for letting me know.” 

Iwaizumi doesn’t seem happy with that, mouth setting in a hard line and brows furrowing. “I’m sorry if this is too much of a shock or -” 

“Of course not! I’m sorry, I’m just a little surprised and I’m running on low power today, that’s all!” He waves his hands to try and reassure Iwaizumi, who still doesn’t look convinced. “Thank you for telling me.” 

The air is thick with tension and awkwardness. Suga has no idea what to do, wanting to leave but not knowing if he should. His saviour is, ironically, Oikawa, who steps through the door carrying groceries. 

“Suga-chan?” He asks in confusion. “What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting tomorrow, and at your place?” 

Suga laughs a little; it’s too airy and high to be realistic, but he hopes it’s passable nonetheless. “Sorry! I was just in the neighbourhood and thought I’d drop by to see you two, but you weren’t home so it was just me and Iwaizumi. Actually, I was just heading home - I still have lots of stuff to do. It’s cleaning day. Sorry to run out like this!” He pulls on his shoes and coat too quickly, rushing the process. 

“Are you sure? We have enough here for the three of us…” Oikawa says, looking down at his bags. Suga shakes his head. 

“Of course not! I wouldn’t want to intrude, really. I’ll see you tomorrow, Oikawa!” He steps out the door with a wave and closes it behind him, leaning against it to catch his breath and calm his racing heartbeat. 

He can hear Oikawa and Iwaizumi bickering on the other side of the door, but he can’t make out what they’re saying. He stands there for a while, grappling with the new information. 

Iwaizumi likes him, and there is absolutely nothing he can do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was awful and not nearly up to par im so sorry i promise to do better  
> i actually finally planned out the rest of this fic btw. it's going to go a lot faster from here i think? next chapter is lighthearted dont worry. (actually do worry theres a lot of angst after that)


	7. Chapter 7

“Do I haave to be here?”

Suga looks disapprovingly at him. “Oikawa, it’s good to volunteer. It makes you a better person. Besides, you didn’t have a bad time last time we were here.” 

Oikawa sighs heavily. “Okay, but I wasn’t so tired that day. Besides, I have a job, I don’t need to volunteer.” 

Suga rolls his eyes and takes him inside the animal shelter, signing them both in and setting them up with their tasks. 

“It’s just an afternoon Oikawa, I’m sure you can make it through,” he says easily as they make their way outside, where a horde of dogs ranging in breeds and ages wait in a fenced area. Oikawa feels his stubbornness melt a little at the sight of all of them, and he leans down to pet one as Suga prepares the cleaning supplies. 

When he turns back to help he finds Suga covered in bubbles, surprise on his face. The bubbles make a halo around his head and cover his forearms and chest, gleaming pretty white in the sun. When Suga catches his eye he starts giggling like mad - the only word Oikawa can think to describe him is _heavenly._

“I, uh,” Suga says through his laughter, “may have used too much soap.” 

And then Oikawa is laughing too, walking back over and cupping some of the bubbles into his hands and blowing them at Suga’s face, who yelps and stumbles back. “Stop that, this is for the dogs,” he says, his smile shining through his words. Oikawa is a little stunned by his brightness and catches himself staring, warmth filling his chest. 

Suga flashes him an encouraging smile as he lets the dogs out of their enclosure, letting them bound out into the open area. While they scrub down the dogs, Oikawa can’t help but stare at Suga; he is playful with each puppy, smiling and cooing at them and playing with the bubbles. He can barely focus on his own task, too absorbed in his friend’s beauty. 

When they’re finally done at the shelter Oikawa’s stomach is grumbling and his wrists hurt from scrubbing so much. “Kou-chan, let’s get ramen,” he whines, grabbing onto Suga’s hand. 

Suga glances at him out of the corner of his eye questioningly. “Kou-chan?” 

Oikawa nods solemnly. “Mhm. You’re so cute that you deserve to be called the cutest name possible, and Kou-chan is cuter than Suga-chan, so you’re Kou-chan.” 

Suga smiles softly at him, the sun setting prettily behind him and setting him in an orange glow. Oikawa’s breath catches in his throat. “That’s really nice of you, Oikawa. Thank you.” 

He blinks Suga’s face out of his eyes so he can speak again, throwing up a peace sign and his signature grin as he drags them down the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this only got a skim through edit, and im sorry its so short. next chapter is angst, the chapter after that even more angst - im so sorry tbh, its mostly angst from here on out. enjoy this while it lasts.


	8. Chapter 8

Iwaizumi is not expecting Suga when he hears a knock on the door.

They’ve been avoiding each other for weeks now - Suga spends most of his time with Oikawa, and Iwaizumi can’t bring himself to be around him after the awkward confession and his reaction. He had seemed almost panicked, completely in shock - he feels kind of bad, and has been trying to give him space. 

“Suga? If Oikawa is expecting you, he’s at work right now.” 

Suga looks a little antsy, shifting his weight from foot to foot and fingers rapping against his thigh, but cheerful nonetheless. “Ah, no, he’s not. I just dropped by to grab some textbooks I left here by accident. Is now a bad time?” 

Iwaizumi steps away so he’s not blocking the door. “No, come inside.” 

He steps in gratefully, unzipping his coat and taking off his shoes, padding quickly through the apartment and into the bedroom. Iwaizumi follows him at a slower pace after shutting the door. 

Suga is searching the floor for his textbooks when Iwaizumi leans against the doorframe. He still feels guilty after their last conversation alone, and he figures now, without Oikawa around to interrupt, is the perfect opportunity to clear things up. 

“I’m sorry for last time.” 

Suga freezes on the his knees. It takes him a moment to go back to searching, and his hands are shaking a little; he doesn’t turn back to face him. “You didn’t do anything wrong. The soup was lovely,” he says, voice tight. 

“We both know that’s not what I’m talking about,” Iwaizumi replies sternly. 

Suga stops again, but he still doesn’t face him. “I admit it was… awkward, but there’s no problem.” 

Iwaizumi crosses his arms over his chest. “You’ve been avoiding me.” 

“So have you.” 

He bites his lip, staring hard at Suga’s back. “I wanted to give you some space.” 

“It’s fine.” 

“If it’s fine, why are you avoiding me, too?” 

Suga doesn’t reply. He goes back to searching for his textbooks, and finds the two under Oikawa’s bed. He gets up quickly, sticking them in his bookbag, and goes to walk out, eyes stuck to the ground 

“Suga, wait.” 

Suga slows, but he does not stop. Iwaizumi shoves himself off the doorframe and holds out an arm. 

“Koushi.” 

Suga jerks his head up, eyes finally meeting his, and Iwaizumi is hit by how close their faces are - too close, he thinks, drinking in Suga’s eyes and nose and lips. He stares long and hard, memorizing every crack in his face, every line and curve. 

“Tell me what to do to make you feel more comfortable.” 

He can see Suga visibly swallow, his adam’s apple bobbing harshly. “You don’t need to do anything,” he says quietly, uncertainty speckled in his voice. 

“I want to.” 

Suga’s hands come up and his eyes go down, and he expects to be pushed away. Instead, his hands rest firmly on his biceps. 

“God,” he whispers, “you make this so hard.” 

Iwaizumi doesn’t understand what he means until his face is getting closer, their noses bumping together and he feels Suga’s damp breath against his mouth. His eyes widen, realization washing over him, and his hands instinctively move to rest on his hips to hold him in place. 

“Koushi-” 

“Don’t,” Suga hisses. “Don’t say my name like that.” 

So he stands there and let’s himself breathe into Suga’s mouth, millimeters from touching. His hands grip his hips firmly, carefully, with Suga’s holding shakily onto his arms in turn. Just when he thinks that maybe he has the strength to close the distance, Suga whispers "We can't do this." 

He shudders out a shaky breath and mumbles back, "I know." His heads slides down to rest on his shoulder, breathing harsh and slow. They cling to each other for a few minutes before Suga speaks again, quiet and broken, cutting the silence. 

"I should go before he gets home." 

Iwaizumi pulls back and nods sullenly, not looking him in the eye. Suga let's himself out - Iwaizumi can’t make himself move, afraid of what he might do and too overwhelmed by guilt, both from what he almost did and that he didn’t have the strength to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey ive had a really really rough night tonight. if you guys have _anything_ to say on this chapter, please leave a comment, and if you haven't already, please leave a kudos! i'm not usually one to ask, but like i said, its been kind of an emotionally draining night and i would really appreciate it. thank you! i hope you enjoyed!


	9. Chapter 9

Oikawa doesn’t know what has Iwaizumi on-edge this week, but he’s determined to fix it.

He himself has been in a wonderful mood since his volunteer work with Suga, but Iwaizumi has been cranky and rude. Their normal teasing banter has taken a cutting, ruthless edge to it that Oikawa doesn’t like. What set him off, he doesn’t know, but today is the day that he makes it better. He’s bought take-out and rented a movie he’s sure Iwaizumi will like (he’s a sucker for rom-coms) and set up extra pillows on the couch for them. He is completely ready and nearly bouncing. 

He doesn’t expect Iwaizumi to come home from work as late as he does, nor does he expect his crankiness to have risen since the day before. When he walks through the door, visibly tired, Oikawa pops up on the couch excitedly. “Welcome home!” 

Iwaizumi glares at him out of the corner of his eye, and Oikawa gets a sinking feeling in his stomach, but keeps his bright smile. 

He sighs and turns away, violently taking off his jacket and shoes. “What’s with you? You never greet me at home anymore.” 

Oikawa knows that’s a jab, but he refuses to take the bait. “I thought you might like it.” 

“I don’t. I’m grabbing a snack and going to do some homework.” 

His brows furrow - his plan is failing. “But I -” 

Iwaizumi turns his searing gaze back onto him. “I said I’m busy, all right? I don’t have time to cater to you tonight.” 

Oikawa pouts, and the sinking feeling grows. “Iwa-chan -” 

“Would you stop fucking calling me that? I’ve been telling you I don’t like it for years, why can’t you just _listen_ for _once_?!” 

Oikawa shrinks back in surprise and fear, mouth falling open. Iwaizumi stands in front of him, seething with his hands clenched at his sides and his jaw set in anger. “God, Oikawa, do I have to spell out everything for you? I don’t have time for you today, so just quit your whining and leave me alone,” he bellows out, words coupled with explosive hand gestures. 

Oikawa’s throat tightens and he feels his eyes burning, but he refuses to cry. “I was doing something nice for you!” he yells in return, and it’s Iwaizumi’s turn to jerk back, his eyebrows twitching in shock. 

“...What?” 

Oikawa voice shrinks to a more reasonable level. “You seemed really stressed, so I planned some stuff to get you to relax. But since you’re so _busy_ , I don’t think it’s necessary.” He stands up off the couch and walks past Iwaizumi to their bedroom. 

“Oikawa, I didn’t…” 

“Shut up. I’m going to stay at Suga-chan’s tonight.” He throws open the door and stomps inside, grabbing an overnight bag and shoving whatever clothes he sees first into it. He walks heavily back out, where Iwaizumi waits. When he reaches for him he knocks his hands away and goes to the bathroom to grab the rest of his needs. 

Iwaizumi’s voice is apologetic when he pleads, “Tooru, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean -” 

“I’m sure you didn’t,” Oikawa bites out as he finishes stuffing the bag. “Regardless, I’m not putting up with this. Feel free to take this time to cool your head.” 

He walks out with his head held high and his chest aching from the tears held back. When he makes it out of the apartment, he dials Suga and starts hiccuping. 

“Hello? This is Sugawara.” 

“Kou-chan?” 

“Oikawa? Is everything all right?” 

He holds back a sob. “No. Can I stay there tonight?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the wonderful comments guys!! everything got cleared up and im doing a lot better now (despite not sleeping) so I reward you with this: probably the angstiest chapter yet. i'm so sorry you deserve better.  
> real talk though, the comments mean a lot. they really made my night. thank you so much. i appreciate it a lot. you guys are awesome, and im so glad youre enjoying this <3 <3<3


	10. Chapter 10

Oikawa looks like a wreck when Suga opens his door to him.

His eyes are puffy, his nose is red and the hands gripping his overnight bag are shaking and white-knuckled. Suga immediately shuffles him inside, his caretaker instincts kicking in. 

“You can set your bag down wherever. My roommate is out, so we have the place to ourselves.” 

Oikawa nods silently, sullenly, dropping his bag near the door and slipping out of his shoes and coat slowly. His eyes look blank and dead. 

He ushers him to his bed and settles them both down. “What happened?” Suga asks quietly, taking Oikawa’s hands in his own and rubbing his palms gently. 

Oikawa sniffs. “Me and Iwa-chan had a fight. I tried to do something nice for him, and he -” he hiccups loudly, interrupting his sentence. “He blew up at me. I don’t know why he’s so angry.” 

Suga’s throat tightens in guilt, knowing exactly why Iwaizumi has been stressed. He bites his lip as Oikawa starts crying, tears rolling down his pristine cheeks slowly and snot dripping from his nose. 

He takes him into his arms and holds him, making cooing noises and stroking the back of his head. Oikawa wraps his arms around Suga’s back tightly, clinging to him as he starts sobbing. “I don’t know what I did wrong,” he chokes out through his tears, body starting to shake. 

Suga hums, heart heavy, and says, “I don’t think you did anything wrong, sweetie. You just caught him at the wrong time.” 

Oikawa’s sobs slow after that, and he sniffs loudly. “Really?” he asks brokenly. 

“Really.” He wants to assure him that it’s not Oikawa’s fault, it’s his, but he can’t do that - he doesn’t want to break Oikawa’s trust in him. 

Suga holds him for a long time, letting his sobs fizzle out to small hiccups, rubbing soothing circles into his back and stroking his hair. When Oikawa finally pulls away his face is red and blotchy - Suga doesn’t think he’s ever seen him look so terrible. 

He wipes the other boy’s cheeks with his thumbs, smiling softly at him. “I’m gonna order takeout and we’re gonna marathon alien movies. How does that sound?” 

Oikawa nods weakly, and Suga automatically presses a kiss to his forehead. He immediately regrets his choice, his heart thumping too fast in his chest, but Oikawa doesn’t react. He slowly gets up off the bed, orders ramen from the place down the street, and grabs his laptop. 

Once the first movie is on and they have their food, Oikawa brightens up considerably. He cracks a smile halfway through, and three-quarters into the second one he starts talking so animatedly Suga considers smothering him with a pillow. He doesn’t, letting Oikawa relax. 

By the time Oikawa falls asleep it’s two-thirty am and they’re just starting the fourth movie. His head is in Suga’s lap and his legs are spread over the duvet. Suga’s own eyes are drooping as he cards a hand through the soft brown hair below him. Oikawa snuggles closer into him, and he sighs with affection and relief. 

After a little while, when he starts thinking about settling in for the night, his cell phone starts buzzing. He manages to untangle himself from Oikawa gently, doing his best not to wake him up as he gets out of bed, and grabs it from the floor. 

“Hello?” he asks, padding out of the dorm and into the hallway, leaving the door open a little. 

“Hi, Suga.” 

Iwaizumi sounds tired and utterly empty, his words slurring a little. Suga’s heart stutters in concern, but also righteous anger, remembering the state Oikawa came to him in. 

“I’m not giving the phone to Oikawa.” he says defiantly, his words clipped. 

“That’s all right. I don’t think he needs to hear from me now.” He can hear the exhale of breath on the other line, and lets Iwaizumi take his time before saying anything more. 

“I fucked up pretty bad tonight,” he says after half a minute, followed by another exhale of breath. 

“Are you smoking right now?” 

“Yeah,” he replies, not an ounce of guilt in the word. “I picked it up in the first semester to help with school stress. I only do it when I need to.” 

Suga wants to lecture him, but he refrains, saving his words for another time. He does click his tongue though, and Iwaizumi’s dark chuckle sends a shiver down his spine. 

“I’ve been thinking what would happen if I broke up with him,” Iwaizumi muses. Suga’s breath catches in his throat. 

“Why would you?” he asks cautiously, fearing he is the answer. 

“Because he might do it to me first. Oikawa’s not one to put up with mistreatment, and he’s right not to.” 

Suga purses his lips but doesn’t reply. He wraps an arm around his waist, an uncomfortable feeling settling between his ribs. 

“Do you think it’d be different if it was us?” Iwaizumi asks suddenly, nervousness touching his smooth, self-deprecating tone. Suga’s hand curls in on itself. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Do you think we’d fight? Or argue? Do you think we’d-” 

“Stop it,” Suga barks, heart clenching in anger and loneliness. “Don’t you dare go down that road. There isn’t an us, so just don’t.” 

Iwaizumi falls silent for a long moment. “Sorry,” he says softly after the silence. Suga’s hand digs into his side. 

“It’s all right,” he replies, just as quietly. 

“I wish there was.” 

Suga knows the answer to his question, but he asks anyway. “Was what?” 

“An us. I wish there was an us. But there won’t be unless I give up Oikawa, and I can’t choose you over him. Though, I’m not sure if I can choose him over you anymore, either.” 

Suga holds back tears, covering his mouth with his hand for a moment and taking a deep breath. He moves it away shakily, clenching his eyes shut. “There is no choosing, Hajime. There is no me or him. There wasn't ever a choice. Oikawa needs you. If you're not here to apologize in the morning and sweep him off his feet, I'll -" 

“I get it, I get it. I’m sorry. I’ll be there.” 

He sniffs quietly. “You better be.” 

He hangs up the phone quickly, wiping his face and calming himself before walking back into the dorm room. When he climbs into bed, Oikawa wraps himself around him, and Suga doesn’t even have the energy to be flustered by his crush. 

“Who were you talking to?” he mumbles out, sleepy eyes blinking up at him. 

Suga gets himself comfortable as he says, “No one. Go back to sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry


	11. Chapter 11

Suga can’t breathe.

Iwaizumi and Oikawa are bickering hushedly in his dorm room, and he’s curled up on his bed trying to ignore them. He’s barely listened enough to know the content of their argument - Oikawa wants to go on a break, and Iwaizumi is set against it. He’s not entirely sure why they have to do this in his room, but he feels bad about kicking them out. 

The air is thick with tension and he’s starting to feel claustrophobic. They don’t seem to notice his presence, with how quiet he is. He just wants it all to stop. 

He wants to go back to when they watched movies and ate Iwaizumi’s cooking and laughed. When he was able to bury his feelings because he knew - no, he thought he didn’t have a chance. When he didn’t know how Iwaizumi felt against his body, or how Oikawa’s skin felt under his lips. When he could calm the tension with a joke, or even a smile, and the stress would dissipate. 

Eventually he can’t take it anymore, his arms digging into his ribs painfully where they wrap around him, and he hauls himself off the bed and walks straight past them to the door. 

They pause in their argument, apparently having finally noticed him. “Kou-chan?” Oikawa asks with surprised concern. 

“I’m going out. Feel free to keep going, take your time.” He flashes a small smile over his shoulder as he puts on his coat, but it’s too tense and forced. He wonders if they can tell. 

He’s out the door before they can protest, pulling his phone out of his pocket as he makes his way out of the building and dialing his best friend. 

“Suga, what’s up?” 

He instantly relaxes a little. “A lot of stuff. Are you busy right now?” 

“I think I can put off this essay for a while.” 

He sighs in relief, his features losing their previous tension. “Thanks, Daichi. I’ll be over there soon.” 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Daichi goes to a smaller college nearby, and it’s only a twenty minute bus ride with light traffic until Suga arrives from his own. He knows his way to the dorm well by now, and makes his way there with ease. Daichi is quick to open when he knocks. 

He wordlessly allows him inside, and Suga makes himself comfortable. “It’s weird to be here without seeing Bokuto and Kuroo,” he remarks. 

“I kicked them out when you said you were coming over,” he replies, amusement colouring his normally serious tone for a moment. “I figured you wouldn’t want an audience.” 

“Which one are you dating, again?” he asks conversationally out of habit. 

“Both, actually. They can be a pain, but it’s worth it.” 

Suga’s head whips to his friend who says his bit with ease, as if dating three people is completely expected - especially of him, who tends to be a little more conservative. 

“I never took you as the type to…” Suga says, hands waving and unable to finish his sentence. Daichi rubs the back of his head sheepishly. 

“I didn’t really either. It just sort of… happened, I guess. Kuroo and me would mess around, and Kuroo and Bokuto would mess around, and Bokuto and me flirted a lot, so eventually we all just came together and agreed. It was kind of awkward at first, but it’s starting to work pretty well.” 

Suga sits himself down on Daichi’s bed, head reeling a bit. He laces his fingers together and squeezes them to ground himself a little. Daichi joins him with an “oomf” sound, sitting cross-legged next to him so that they don’t have to face each other. 

“I don’t think you came to talk about my love life.” 

Suga sighs. “As interesting as it is, and as much as I would like to know more, no, I didn’t. I actually came about mine.” 

Daichi hums. “I didn’t know you were seeing someone.” 

“I’m not,” he said tiredly. “It’s sort of like the worse situation of what you had going on. Much worse.” 

Daichi shifts himself to face him. “Turn around. I’m gonna give you a massage, and you’re gonna talk.” 

Suga gives him his back gratefully and launches into his story. He talks for at least an hour, maybe more - he loses track of time. By the time he is finished, there are tears running down his face and his back is relaxed and pleasantly sore. Daichi continues to rub his thumbs in small, soothing circles at the nape of his neck, letting him cry it out. 

When he calms down he turns to face his friend again. “Sorry about that,” he says weakly. 

“Don’t be,” Daichi replies, offering him a sympathetic smile. “That sounds really rough. Have you thought about asking them…?” 

He doesn’t say it, but Suga knows he’s talking about his own relationship style. “No,” he says, shaking his head, “I hadn’t even thought of it until today. Besides, Oikawa doesn’t like me like that.” His last words are a little bitter, but he says them soft enough to ease the tension. 

Daichi’s eyes are stern. “For one, I doubt that. Two, even if he doesn’t, that’s not how all poly relationships work.” 

Suga glances at him in confusion. “What do you mean? Isn’t it supposed to be ‘everyone likes everyone’?” 

Daichi shakes his head. “Not necessarily. It just means you date who you date with all parties knowing what’s going on. It’s really a multiple relationship thing. As long as your partners know who you’re dating, and you know who your partners are dating, and everyone is okay with it, it doesn’t matter.” 

Suga takes a moment to process the information, rubbing his thumb over his palm. “So I could date Iwaizumi, and Iwaizumi could date me and Oikawa.” 

“Yeah, that could work,” he replies in a positive tone. “But from what you were telling me, Oikawa probably likes you, too.” 

Suga shakes his head. “Definitely not. He’s very hung up on Iwaizumi. We’re just good friends.” 

Daichi rolls his eyes. “For someone so perceptive, you really have no idea, do you?” 

“You have no room to talk,” Suga teases, “you’re denser than a solid block of lead. It’s a wonder you manage to date anyone at all.” 

Daichi looks at him disapprovingly, but Suga knows he doesn’t take it to heart when he lets out an affectionate sigh. 

“Do you think I should go back?” he asks after a long moment of silence. Daichi shrugs. 

“It’s up to you. I’m gonna let the dynamic duo back in soon, so if you wanna stick around for that, you can.” 

Suga ponders for a moment. “You know what, I’d like that. It’d be nice to be around fun people for a while.” 

“That’s the first time you’ve called me fun,” Daichi remarks, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes as he takes out his phone and starts texting. 

“I wasn’t talking about you.” 

“Oh, so I’m boring then?” 

“No,” Suga says warmly, “you’re stable.” 

Daichi purses his lips and ruffles his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only a couple chapters left!! next chapter is gonna be spectacular and so good, i promise. i wrote it last night and i was like,,, this is so good. so i hope you enjoy!  
> my daichi was a little off this chapter, which i apologize for, but i hope you enjoyed!


	12. Chapter 12

When Suga gets back late that night, Oikawa is sprawled all over his bed and Iwaizumi is gone.

He jerks up off the bed when he hears him come in, expression unreadable, and Suga is wary of the stagnant, tense atmosphere. He closes the door quietly and pads inside. “How did everything go?” he asks softly. 

Oikawa shrugs. “We’re on a break now.” He flops back on the bed, limbs splayed every which way. “I feel kind of sad but it’s also really… freeing.” A grin breaks out over his face and Suga looks down at him in concern. 

“Are you sure you’re all right?” he prods. The thought that he might have a fever flashes through his mind. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m better than I’ve been in months.” He rises up off the duvet again, eyes bright and wide and _alive_. “We should do something. We should - we should do something exciting.” 

He’s on his feet before Suga can stop him. “Oikawa, it’s eleven at night, we can’t just -” 

“Why not?” Oikawa asks, more serious that Suga has ever heard him, pulling on a sweater quickly enough to muss his hair. “Who is there to stop us? There’s no school tomorrow. No one waiting for us. No plans. We can do what we like.” He’s pulling on his shoes now, forgoing socks, and Suga has half a mind to reach out and stop him. 

“I really don’t think -” 

Oikawa pins him with his gaze, eyes burning hot and so intense. Suga swallows his words and realizes that this is more important than he realized. 

“Suga,” he says, his voice filled with emotion, “please.” 

He can’t bring himself to say no. 

He nods mutely, and Oikawa’s grin breaks out on his face again. He let’s himself be dragged out of his dorm; they’re on a bus before he can speak. Oikawa is buzzing with energy but oddly quiet, staring out the window with newfound eagerness Suga wishes he could mirror. 

With his glances between bated breaths, Suga thinks Oikawa looks surprisingly beautiful like this. His usual demeanor is like honey - sweet and syrupy and smooth, making his words catch in his throat that feels too thick. Oikawa in this state is terrifying, a monster set on drawing in everything around him and consuming it elegantly and completely. He reminds him of a black hole: vast and dark and sucking in everything that comes too close. He doesn’t have the peace of mind to stop himself from being pulled towards his inevitable destruction, nor the heart to stop Oikawa. 

It takes a good forty-five minutes for them to reach their destination, and Suga can feel himself nodding off by the time they get there. Oikawa has not lost an inch of his focused intensity, but he is gentle when rousing Suga; he blinks his eyes open to Oikawa’s, near manic, and he whispers excitedly, “We’re here.” 

They get off the bus quickly and Suga is hit by the scent of salt and fresh air and the pure brine of the sea. Oikawa drags him down into the sand by his wrist, jerking him forward and pulling him awkwardly. He can feel the sand between his socks and his shoes, grinding lightly against his heel and his toes. Oikawa kicks off his shoes fast and lets his feet sink into the sand, eyes closing and grin widening. 

Suga rids himself of his own footwear, the sand damp and cold beneath his feet. “What are we doing here?” he asks carefully - part of him doesn’t want to break Oikawa out of his mindset, but a part of him is scared and curious. He won’t admit it, but another, smaller part of him is just as eager as the boy before him. 

Oikawa blinks at him as if just realizing that he exists. “We,” he says breathlessly “are going to watch the stars.” 

That is not something Suga expects - Oikawa is so alive in this moment that something as simple as watching the stars seems out of character. But Oikawa’s hand on his wrist turns gentle and slides to his palm, tracing lines into it with a smooth fingertip as he draws him towards his body. That focused intensity now spreads out, washes out of Oikawa to engulf the atmosphere around them; it leaves Oikawa himself softer, fuzzy like the edge of something vast or the static on a television. His gaze shifts from him to the the black sky, brightly lit by thousands of stars. Suga has never seen him look more awestruck or peaceful. 

It takes them a while to speak, and when Oikawa does, his voice is tinged with childish wonder. He lifts his hand out of nowhere and points out constellation after constellation, telling the stories of each one. Suga is impressed by his repertoire of knowledge, vast and unfailing, and soon finds himself enraptured. 

Eventually they go quiet again, and Suga feels full - full of the ocean lapping loudly at the shore, full of the sky spread out before him, full of Oikawa who gives him no chance to move or think or breathe, taking up every inch he can. It’s almost overwhelming and he feels a little lightheaded. 

He lets himself lie down on the beach, slipping away from Oikawa who seems to have no intentions of moving. He takes deep breaths, letting the air fill his lungs almost painfully. He can barely hear Oikawa, who glances down at him; Suga feels like he isn’t really being seen with how hazy his eyes seem, but he is okay with that. 

“I missed this,” he whispers. Suga wonders if he is supposed to hear this, but his thoughts halt when Oikawa keeps going. 

“I missed being able to just feel things and have it be okay. Have my existence be okay.” A small, goofy smile settles on his face, one Suga has never seen. “Everything is so easy with you.” 

Suga knows he shouldn’t be listening to this, knows this isn’t for his ears, but he can’t stop himself. He stares at Oikawa, who stares back unfocusedly. 

“I think I love you.” 

Suga’s breath stops completely, and he throws himself upright. His heart hammers in his chest and when he can finally draw oxygen back into his lungs his breathing is too fast and uneven and his hands are shaking. He digs them into the sand to steady himself. 

“What did you just say?” Suga asks, voice wavering, questioning, hopeful above all else. 

Oikawa jerks like he’s been burned, his gaze refocusing. Red rises to his cheeks and he looks pinned and afraid. 

“N-nothing!” he stammers out, smiling and waving his hands in a similar way that he had when Suga had first met him, when they knew nothing of each other. “I was just thinking out loud! The ocean air makes me ramble! Half the time I don’t even know what I’m saying!” 

Suga rises slowly to his feet, barely trusting his legs. “Oikawa,” he says hoarsely. “Were you serious?” 

Oikawa’s trapped expression returns briefly, and he visibly swallows. “I mean,” he says choppily, “maybe?” 

Suga takes a step towards him, and then another, clasping his arms before he can move away and searching his eyes. “Are you serious or is this just - is this just because of Iwaizumi?” 

Oikawa’s breathing has increased as well. “I-” 

“I need you to be honest with me,” Suga says, the first steady thing he’s said yet. Oikawa is the one shaking now, eyes darting away and breath catching in his throat. 

“Yes, I’m serious,” he says after a few brief, tense moments. Suga searches his eyes once more before pulling him close. 

Oikawa’s mouth on his makes him feel like there are explosions going off in his body - not because the kiss itself is all that spectacular (Oikawa’s shock makes it more of a gesture than anything pleasurable since he won’t move), but because he is finally able to touch him, breathe him in, taste him, show him in any way of his affections. It takes at least fifteen seconds for Oikawa to get the message and wrap his arms around his waist, tugging him off his feet and swinging him around, smiling into his mouth as laughter bubbles between them. 

Suga finally understands what Oikawa had meant by free when he is wrapped in his arms, their kisses long and hard and messy, nowhere near good in their haste but far more incredible than Suga has ever had. He feels like he’s soaring, and he thinks that might have something to do with his lightheadedness, but he doesn’t care. 

He doesn’t know how much time passes until they’re left standing on the beach together, smiling at each other and covered in each other’s kisses with sand squishing between their toes. He could sing or dance (though he’s not very good at either) he feels so elated, but the first thing that pops out of his mouth is something leading towards the complete opposite. 

“So,” he says through his pants, “what now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probably the best chapter of this entire fic so i hope you liked it !!


	13. Chapter 13

_“So,” he says through his pants, “what now?”_

Oikawa’s dazzling smile freezes stiffly on his face and his eyes turn blank, arms stiff and tense around him. Suga’s own smile fades as the gravity of the situation hits him. The flying feeling sinks rapidly as if he is being dragged forcibly back down to earth, and his hands around Oikawa slip down from his neck to rest on his chest. 

“Oikawa?” he asks, concern filling his voice. 

“Iwa-chan,” he chokes out. “What are we gonna tell Iwa-chan?” 

Suga hands clench lightly around the fabric of Oikawa’s shirt. “Look at me,” he says softly, firmly, and tugs on the shirt when he continues to stare past him emptily. “Tooru. Look at me.” 

Oikawa drags his eyes to meet his, and there is a terror there that Suga is unaccustomed to. He moves his hands to grasp at his face, smoothing his thumbs over Oikawa’s cheekbones. “It’s all right. It’s okay. Everything is gonna work out just fine.” 

“How?” he asks, desperate, and Suga is more than happy to provide the answer. He sends a mental thanks to Daichi. 

“Why don’t we take a seat and we’ll talk it over. I have an idea. Let’s just sit down, all right?” 

Oikawa nods dumbly and Suga leads him down into the sand. He makes sure Oikawa is stable and comfortable before taking his hand in a soothing way, rubbing patterns over the back of it. 

“I had a talk with Daichi today,” he starts off, slow and pleasantly confident, “about everything that’s happened. And he was telling me about something he’s doing that’s been working for him. If this doesn’t appeal to you, we don’t have to, though.” He says the last sentence quickly, reassuringly. Oikawa nods slowly after a second, and Suga takes that as his cue to continue. 

“Well, we love each other,” he says, heart skipping over the word _love_ and heat rising to his cheeks. “And you and Iwaizumi love each other. And me and - me and Iwaizumi love each other.” 

Oikawa jerks at the last one, struck with the new information. “I didn’t know you…” 

“I didn’t want you to. I didn’t want to put a strain on our relationship.” 

Oikawa looks hurt, but he takes a few deep breaths and closes his eyes. “Okay,” he says after a few moments. “Okay. So we all love each other. We must be idiots to not have realized all this sooner.” He laughs darkly, and Suga sighs bashfully in agreement. 

“So?” he asks expectantly, eyes now brimming with curiosity. Suga clears his throat to help his awkwardness. 

“So why don’t we all just… date each other?” 

“I’m sorry?” 

Suga lowers his head to hide his embarrassed blush. “W-well, Daichi is dating two people and they all sort of just… date each other. All at once. So we could - we could all date separately, but all date each other, or we could all date at once, or, um, whatever you’re comfortable with. And Iwaizumi.” 

Oikawa stares searchingly for a moment, and Suga can’t help but fidget under his gaze, dropping Oikawa’s hand in the process. “I-if you don’t want to, it’s fine!” he stammers out. 

“No,” he replies softly, eagerness tingeing his voice, “that’s the best idea of this whole night.” 

He pulls Suga towards him and kisses him, slow and affectionate, and this time Suga can appreciate what a good kisser he is. This kiss is reminiscent of the shore they sit next to, a gentle pull so different from earlier’s hard crashes. Suga lets himself drink it in for a minute before pulling away with relieved giggles, resting his head on Oikawa’s shoulder. 

“I don’t think I’ve been this happy in months,” he sighs out, and Suga can hear the rumble of his words in his chest. He hums in agreement. 

“You wanna talk to him tomorrow, or do you wanna talk to him right now?” 

“That bastard put me through a lot of shit. He was gonna hear from me at three am at some point - it’s better that I come bearing positive news, don’t you think?” 

Suga stifles another round of giggles. “Don’t fight with him,” he says sternly instead, pulling himself up to kiss him again. 

“Kou-chan, you have so little faith,” he mumbles sweetly into his mouth before sinking into another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so so sorry oh gosh !!! i've had. a lot of reasons to be away. school and mental health and tbh i've bene playing a crapload of animal crossing,,, but there's been a lot of ups and downs in my life that have been really hard to deal with so i've delayed putting this and the next chapter out for quite some time. i'm so sorry guys!!   
> anyway, a quick update: i've moved my main blog to tiny-shouyou due to some privacy issues i was having, and because i deleted my account for kxushi, i also ended up deleting my writing sideblog. with no warning. sorry about that. anyway, i'm going to just put my writing up on my main blog now because im lazy and stuff - i won't be posting anything old that i had up, which is unfortunate, but any new works i produce (which will be hard for me due to school pressure) will go up there!!  
> thank you so much for your patience !!! i'm posting the last chapter immediately after this one, so at least there's that?


	14. Chapter 14

Iwaizumi is not happy to see them on his doorstep, that much Oikawa can tell, but he’s too psyched up to care.

He looks grumpy and sleep-deprived and definitely like the humanoid version of Oscar the Grouch, but Oikawa flings himself at him all the same, crooning his name in the sweetest voice he can muster. 

“What the hell-” Iwaizumi bursts out, hands reaching to push him off. They are half the strength he usually puts in, and Oikawa feels a pang of guilt before his excitement washes over it again. 

“I’m sorry for disrupting your sleep, Iwaizumi,” Suga says reasonably, apologetic where Oikawa is not. “We have something important to propose to you and… well, Oikawa couldn’t wait.” 

Iwaizumi shifts his glare to Suga, then back at Oikawa, and then heaves a large, exasperated sigh. “I’ll put the kettle on,” he says in exasperation, finally prying Oikawa off him. 

Oikawa settles himself on the couch and wiggles to the side to make room for Suga, who sits down slowly and seemingly uncomfortably. Oikawa grabs his hand, his own nearly vibrating, and gives him a large smile to reassure him. Suga’s small smile back is enough to appease him. 

Iwaizumi eventually comes back with tea, and he looks roused enough to hear them out. “What is this all-important thing you woke me up to talk about?” he asks, voice brooding and pouty as he hands them their mugs and sits on the other end of the couch. Suga glances at Oikawa, who nods quickly, before turning back to Iwaizumi and taking a deep breath. 

“Me and Oikawa were talking about something Daichi had told me about earlier, and we were wondering if…” He pauses, taking a sip of his tea Oikawa is sure is to calm his nerves. “Well, we’re thinking that a poly relationship is the best way to go, where we all date one another.” 

Iwaizumi’s mouth drops open a little, and Oikawa nearly giggles at the expression. “ _What_.” 

“It’s simple!” Oikawa bursts out. “I date you and Kou-chan, you date me and Kou-chan, Kou-chan dates me and you! Apparently it can be one big group thing, or we can all date separately. I want to do the group thing, but Kou-chan said we should ask you too.” He pouts at Suga, who smiles sweetly at him in a way not unlike his own smiles, before they both turn expectant gazes onto Iwaizumi. 

“Well,” Suga says breathlessly, “what do you say?” 

Iwaizumi stares between the two of them for a long time - too long, Oikawa thinks, starting to get impatient. He considers waving a hand in front of Iwaizumi’s face when he finally speaks. 

“That sounds… really. Good.” 

Oikawa scoffs. “Good?” 

Iwaizumi nods shakily. “Good. I like that.” 

His eyes are filled with such fondness that Oikawa can’t find it in him to tease, and suddenly Suga is laughing, and then so is Iwaizumi, and he can’t help but follow. They laugh loud and long and hard, so full of joy they can’t contain it, their pent-up tension bursting in the tiny room. When they finally calm themselves he watches Suga pull Iwaizumi into a kiss, hard and deep, and he gets butterflies watching it. 

“No fair,” he says poutily, “I want a kiss too.” 

Suga pulls away and looks at him with good-natured exasperation. “You got a kiss earlier.” 

Oikawa doesn’t have to retort because Suga pulls him in anyway, kissing him with so much affection it makes his head spin and his expression fall away so that he can properly kiss, hoping his mouth is enough to convey every ounce of love in his body. He can feel Iwaizumi’s eyes on them, but he doesn’t feel the least bit uncomfortable. 

They break apart before Oikawa wants to, and he considers whining, but his lips are quickly replaced with Iwaizumi’s. The contrast between them is stark and Oikawa loves it - where Suga is soft and sweet and pliant, Iwaizumi is rough lips and blunt teeth and insistent tongue. Oikawa takes his fill before pulling away and flopping back on the couch with a smile. 

“Just because we kissed doesn’t mean we’re completely okay,” he says sternly to Iwaizumi. “I still need time.” 

Iwaizumi nods. “I understand.” 

Suga smiles between the two of them. “So we’ll all be together in a few weeks?” 

Oikawa nods. “Yeah. But let’s spend the night together.” 

They all curl op on the bed together, Suga snuggled soundly between the two of them (it’s a tight fit). Oikawa has never felt more at peace than wrapped around his two favourite people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's over!! thank you for sticking through this. the beginning wasn't so great, but it got much much better under some guidance from my friend (she's so amazing, check her out at king-tooru). i'm so sorry for the wait and lack of editing on the last two chapters, i really am. thank you for all the love you gave this fic !


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